Peace, Good People:
There has been a ton going on since my last blog – mainly amazing things, but a few hiccups along the way as well. I’m experiencing a zeal like no other as I confidently forge in the direction of my dreams. On this journey, I’m not put off by the agendas of the people around me at all. I take pride that some of their personal goals are directly linked to mine. What has been difficult, are the unspoken expectations, temper tantrums and overall inconsideration of my time, intellect and energy that have newly become a part of this process. From declarations of the fear of “losing” me to the feelings of being a possession and not a person, I have been forced to erect a wall recently that I’m not comfortable being behind.
I might need to get used to this space, though. Being a little more guarded, that is.
A good friend of mine who I tearfully reached out to regarding this new found drama surrounding me offered this insight, “It’s the uncommon person who is into your happiness without ANY hope for some shine. Not rare, but uncommon. And because you are SO cool to be with and like a magnet of good energy and power, it attracts all kinds of people. But because you give of yourself so freely, people get inside too quick, with too little presentation. While it may be against your nature a little, people really should EARN their way to you.”
I’ve spent some hours with these words at the forefront of my meditation. While I scoff at this notion of not being fully opened, I’ve realized that I’ve got some real personal behaviors to unlearn in order to reach the level of success I’m aiming for. And some muthafuckas are going to be really offended by this change. And I’m not really able to care. I HAVE TO MAKE IT.
The places that I’ve envisioned for my life require a LOT more discipline than I’ve exercised before. Drake said on his track, You & The 6 “I can’t be out here vulnerable, Momma.” And that’s what I feel: Vulnerable.
Folks from various walks of life, outer gates and inner circles, professional and personal comrades, have made demands that are overbearing, nonsensical, uncomfortable and, honestly, unrealistic from where I stand. I want to exclaim, “Stay in YOUR lane, SIR/MA’AM!!” I’ve found myself in a place where I require absolute silence in order to process the magnitude of my dreams. The vision for my life can’t die. It isn’t dying, actually. It’s moving at the speed of light and my primary focus has to be MY win. Not the win of the niggas on my back. I’m responsible for ME first. In that, there will need to be sacrifices. There will need to patience across the board. There will need to be a level of respect that I’m granted in order to manifest my hopes…or…there will, unfortunately, need to be cuts to the people/things that distract my focus negatively from that goal.
I am an energy that can’t be possessed or grasped too tightly. I’m a phoenix. A mythical bird. A goddess. A supernova. A light bearer. A loyalist. A lover. A PERSON daring to believe that she’s destined to impact the world in the way SHE sees fit.
I can’t have my light/life snuffed out by those intentionally or unintentionally operating in a space of fear and control.
So while things are mainly awesome, I still need my Firebirds to send the warmest light and energy in my direction and in the direction of my team. Sometimes well meaning people do really dumb shit. Nothing is unforgivable. However, be forewarned. My tolerance level is not high for this foolishness.
ANTHEM of the day? Bullet Train. I’ve been waiting MY WHOLE LIFE just to live MY WHOLE LIFE. I’m not putting that dream to the side for anyone. You’ve only got one shot, right? I can’t miss this train. This one is for ME.
I love YOU. Thank YOU for your love and support. Thank YOU for supporting me on this journey. I’m a better bird because of it.
Love ya gurl,
Wanna stay connected with me?
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/lashaunphoenixmoore or http://www.facebook.com/TeamFirebird
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