So several of our friends have been making wedding annoucements and plans to get married. One friend even told Tony that “the pressure was on” for him to ask for my hand in marriage. However, last night after sitting with newlyweds Carmen and Shibu, I’m glad that we’re waiting until next year to tie the knot.
Marriage is for grown folks and it is not a committment to be entered into lightly. Marriage is not for those with weak wills or weaker stomachs. It is not ladened with all of the religious bullshit that folks spoon feed us. Although it is magical and sacred and fairytale-ish, it is also a business and a selfless act. Marriage requires submitting to your partner for the greater good of your marriage and the souls that you affect. While it does not require us to sacrifice our individuality, it does make us look at our partners as extensions of ourselves — as our very own limbs.
Tony is my heartbeat.
He is the muscle in my arms and legs.
He is the iris that pulls in light for me to see with better clarity.
He is as much of me without having a vagina that I can imagine.
Lately, we have been openly discussing our commonalities and our dreams and our goals for the next five, ten and twenty years. We have also been uniting our personal finances and releasing ourselves from hindrances in our past that could be problematic for our future. I used to be critical of my boy Marvin’s desire to wait so long to marry my girl Corisa. However, when I look at the absolute bliss that they are experiencing because they planned out their future while enjoying their present, I have to give him a head nod in respect.
While there are lots of obstacles that attempt to destroy marriages, not having your money, ideals, and goals in the same box can make it even harder. Get on the same page people! Don’t strap yourselves to relationships that have no CLEAR goals. If you’re dating just to date, cool. But, if you have an expected next step, be honest with your partner (and yourself).
Since information is free, as it relates to money consider the following pyramid and book below to get you started:
These tools are only a few of the pieces that are sealing Tony and me closer together. Shibu said last night, “I want to be encircled with friends that are prospering and doing well. No one wants to be the only guy succeeding”. He then proceeded to offer us tools to join him and his wife in the climb to the top. Slow and steady wins the race. I hope to see each of you there.
Jose & Allison, Christina & David, and Que & Will blessings to each of you as you step into wedded bliss! Tony and I will join you in the ranks next year. May you be rewarded with an overflow of success. My dear friends reading this blog, may you inherent the same thing.