New Year. New Woman.
I realize that I’ve allowed too many voices to have authority over the direction of my life. I’d like to try something a little different this year. I’d like to really spend more time listening to myself and determining what I really want void of the opinions of others. I spent almost all of last year distracted. I’ve spent the last 6 months trying to fit everyone into my schedule (which left little or no time for myself). The moment I do make time for myself, I find myself troubleshooting the attitudes of others because I’m not available to them.
Last night, I had a panic attack that lasted almost an hour (complete with hysteria, tears, snot and thinking that I was going to have a heart attack) because I was consumed with worry about how angry everyone ELSE was going to be because I need to stay goal focused.
For the first two months of this year, I’m cutting everyone OFF. Cell phone (OFF after I walk into my home each night), Computer (OFF after I leave the office and off after 11 at home), Social Life (OFF until I’m able to balance the newness of being in this great adventure of marriage with Tony along with everything else)…everything OFF.
God. Me. Family. Friends.
Pray. Go to the Gym. Plan this wedding.
Finish the album. Release the Book. Prep for the tour.
Finalize the performance festival. Work on WOWps and Poetically Speaking.
I’ve got too many projects in the works to be distracted. I have to make time for ME or I’ll be no good for anyone.
I’m already off to a good start. No phone calls, no drama, no distractions. And even though I miss some of my closest friends in this walk, I’m trusting that after all I’ve given, a moment to myself can be respected.
I’ve got to get myself together. My life and health are all out of sorts right now trying to be something to everyone else.
These are my declarations.
I invite the spirit of peace to come in. I also encourage each of you to take a deep breath and moment out for yourself. Being a little selfish (with yourself) is a gift.
Talk to yawl soon,